Could Do Better

Do you ever have those moments where you think about things you’ve done and wonder “Could I have done that better?”  Or maybe it was a relationship that you could have put a little more (or less) effort into?  What about when somebody comes back into your life, after an extended (and possibly purposeful) time away?

When these things happen to me, I can’t help but wonder.  I don’t find myself dealing with regrets and “what could have beens” but sometimes you just have to think what would life be like if only…

And sometimes, when I lie awake at night, I realize that for better or for worse, the choices I’ve made (and those that have been made for me) put me where I am today, and I have nothing to complain about.

Wow – this was so not where I intended this post to go – I was thinking about certain relationships that for all intents and purposes could have flourished, but didn’t.  Nobody necessarily to blame evidentily just not the right time or place (because how much effort can you put in before calling it quits?) for two stars to align.

But how do you know something better is out there?

Let’s Get Lifted

Welcome to a New Year!  Seems a little old, doesn’t it? I mean, we’re already 5 days in.  Yesterday I thought about some of my resolutions, and then I thought about why I set them.  I don’t think I had any last year because I never really keep to them.  I always thought it was because I was ok with who I was, and what I did.  But thinking about it this year, its not so much about wrongs that need to be ‘righted’ but more about improving yourself and your situation.  And lets face it, a lot of people’s situations could stand to be improved this year.

So that said, I’m keeping my ‘resolutions’ to myself this year – keeping them locked away inside to hold as personal triumphs or failures.  I have some ‘ideals’ that I think are more resolutions, but nothing to be ashamed if I don’t do.. like cook a new dish every week, try new beers (and that goes for new THINGS!), and just be happier.  But how do you measure the success of being happier? How do you say “Oh, I missed cooking a new dish last week.. I fail.”  I don’t think you can.  I think you factor everything into it, and just accept that life comes along and you can’t always control it.

Now that I’ve sufficiently rambled, I’m just going to say that 2009 is going to be a year of change, a year of acceptance, and a year of letting go.  Now thats a resolution I can stick to.

Home

It’s so cliche – the saying “You can’t go home again.”  But the truth is obviously you can.  People do it all the time.  Holidays especially, they make the trip to their parents houses, the places they remember their childhoods.  Reliving the memories from growing up.

I’m no exception.  I came home yesterday – only the second time I’ve been home this year.  The first time I’ve been back alone, and there is something liberating, yet utterly melancholy about it.  Being home reminds me of who I was, but makes me proud of who I’ve become.  Being home reminds me of all the friends I’ve lost touch with, but makes me thankful of those I haven’t.  And most of all, being home reminds me of the small town childhood I had, and makes me appreciate the big city life I now live.

You can go home when ever you’d like, but the truth is your memories of home will never be matched.

Let It Snow

For the most part, I’m a grumpy winter-er.  I don’t necessarily like the cold and wind that comes with the months between November and February.  And most years, that first warm day where you can start to feel the change of the seasons is the happiest day for me .

But sometimes, I’m divinely inspired by the snow.  Like today.  Wasn’t particularly cold, and as I walked along the Chicago river to work, the light fluffy snow flakes falling down – I couldn’t help but smile.  I’m sure my fellow commutes may have thought I was a little nutty, but it just made me happy.

It could be the fact that this is the only day I’m working this week, the fact I’m heading home for much needed vacation tomorrow, or that I get to see family as well.  This all could add up.  It could be the fact that I do like elements of winter and have great memories of quality time spent in the snow.

But really, who needs a reason to smile on a beautiful winter day?

iCream iCream follow up posting

So, the story of the iCream. I’m sad to say (as I think most Chi-cagans would) that this iCream place has really been a let down.  I’ve walked by the store about a dozen times now over the past few months.  And not once has it actually been open.  I think it maybe a joke.  Their ads are still on the El, there is still a sign on the front door saying there is something wrong with their machine.  Don’t you think they would have had this all worked out before spending soooo much money? Or at least have a backup machine?  I guess I’ll stick to Cold Stone and DQ!

It’s my life

Tonight I write a bit confused.  I hate when I watch movies, and then decide to start psycho-analyzing myself.  Isn’t the point of a movie to relax, let go, and forget your worries?  No no, not me.  I watch a movie and it forces me to do the deep thinking.  A little depressing really.

I started to think about all the things I want to do in the next few months, and where I really want to go.  Want to go visit some friends on the West coast, perhaps to an awesome road trip from Northern to Southern California, and hit a few awesome spots in between.  Travel excites me – the idea of being in a new place and doing new things keeps me motivated.  Staying still and not learning, not going on new adventures – thats what will kill me in the long run.

Probably helps clear my head from all the insanity going around.  At work, in personal life, in general – too much drama, and chaos.  I like the simple life, where things (and people) are as they seem.

Can’t Find The Words

Just a quick post, but i’ve fallen in love with a website.  One of my co-workers brought it up today in a meeting, and since I have a thing for visualizing otherwise non visual things, I love it!… it’s called Wordle. You should check it out. I’m posting two things I did super quick.

One is the lyrics from my favorite song, and inspiration for my latest tattoo, the other is the transcript from Michelle Obama’s speech at the DNC.  Pretty cool, no?

iCream, you cream, we all cream for icream.

So this new place opened around the corner.  Although the genius who named it “iCream” might be lacking in their common sense, but thats beside the point.  Their gimmick is you can choose if you want ice cream, sorbet, or frozen yogurt.  You pick the flavor, and if you want ‘things’ in it – then they make it, literaly, right in front of you.  Unfortunately, when I walked by, their nitrogen machine was out of order (I hate when that happens).   And according to their website, it still is. Anyway. So plastered all over the el are adds for “iCream”.  Which I always kinda laugh when I read it.  Anyway. Take a look. Enjoy the laugh.

http://www.icreamcafe.com/

Right Where It Belongs

One of the things I absolutely love about my ‘hood is that everything is only a short walk away.  And in some cases, merely steps away.  For example – FedEx Kinkos is across the street.  A liquor store and laundry are my next door neighbors on the left, while a wine shop and a bank are on my right.  What’s not to love about the innate ability to do my laundry, sip some beers while making copies of my bank statements? 

Next to the laundry happens to be a place called “Indulge” and most days, I pass it by while on my morning run.  The thing that intrigues me is the fact they are open from 11am – 11pm, they have a walk up window, they advertise for frozen custard, and it always smells of chocolate and popcorn. Yes, I know.

I’ve always meant to stop in, but I just never have.  But today, my friends, was the day my life changed for the better.  I stopped in after achieving a fresh boiled lobster look at the cubs game. Read: I was burnt to a crisp and needed some cooling.  And because one of the things I don’t understand about the Cubs is how Culver’s is a sponsor – there are no Culver’s any where near the city – I kept thinking about THEIR frozen custard.  So long story short, I went to Indulge. Purchased myself a “blizzard’ like substance created of vanilla frozen custard and chocolate chip cookie dough.  While I waited for my frozen decadence, I noticed – they also have an Intelligentsia coffee shop inside!  And for those of you who have read my last post about Intelligencia - I am in heaven.

And that’s my story.

Gold Rush!

Today was like any other Friday. Slightly hung over. Starving. And needing to get out of the office for a bit.  So Crystal and I decided to make the perilious crossing of Michigan Avenue, and go to Chipotle. Yum.  Hoping that would help my inability to process a coherent thought, I was happy.  Of course, it was delicious and now I have food for the rest of the month. But anyway – I digress.  Not only did Crystal help my hunger, she has converted me to Intelligentsia coffee… yum yum.  Ok again, I digress – but its part of the story I’m setting up for you.

On our very slow walk back to the office, Crystal spots a man and asks “Um, what color is that man’s suit?”  Upon inspection, it looked to be a tan or beige suit, but it had a blue and orange plaid woven into it.  Pretty interesting combination, but it worked.  Personally I thought it to be more of a fall suit, and I’m holding on the summer the best I can. Anyway.  So Mr. Suit is making his way across the street, and the farther away he gets, the harder the pattern is to see.  Pretty soon, he’s blending into the buildings.  And at the farthest, it appeared he maybe wearing a gold lame’ suit.  Obviously we knew better, because we had closely inspected.  But, to the unsuspecting passerby – this would be the best suit they’ve seen all day!  So, Mr. Suit – props to you for dipping your toe in the fashion risk pool.